The Legend

The Living Legend of Dr. Doug

Dr. Doug's Mental Health Clinic

Guided Group Therapy on the Terlingua Ghost Town Porch

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Legends abound in the Big Bend, like the super cowboy Pecos Bill who rode a tornado, used a rattlesnake as a whip and dug the Rio Grande. Well there's another one that's pretty popular in the Ghost Town of Terlingua, and it's about that mysteriously happy man wearing a smock on the porch.

Dr Doug has a huge responsibility over a grand land, and performs "psychiatric miracles in the desert, on the porch" by using medicine, hypnotism and his tried and true therapeutic discourse. He is a gentleman with all the things in life he desires, he just doesn't desire anything.

In his world, the bleak, arid, mountainous desert, everything is rosy and right. He has a fine home, a Clinic on the Porch, a butler named Jeeves, and thousands of adoring friends and fans that hang on his every word. He is world famous, but he lives like a Spartan and donates all of his time and money to worthy causes. People believe everything he says because he acts so dang happy. He is a Master Hypnotist, and he manipulates the sessions on the porch with the use of "medicine," deft words and subtle motions of a wooden cane.

People by the thousands are cured of Unhappiness, often with only one short visit to the porch. There are a few locals that are hard to heal, and they require continuous repeat sessions.

Of course, he will take nothing personally in return for his miraculous healing's, but instead donates any extra time and resources to local charities. He will take "donations for good causes" and applies all funds received to the betterment and happiness of his patients in the world's largest open air mental asylum.

The High Sierra is his getaway, a place of refuge from the maddening crowds on the porch, but he still cannot avoid the fame of his good deeds and lifestyle, so the High Sierra hides him and treats him as just another local to shield him from the overbearing pressures of unhappy masses on the porch clamoring for every second of the doctor's time.

Although Dr Doug is a wonderful, giving, passionate human being, he has his enemies, and his demons. They are the AMA and IRS.

The August Medical Association (AMA) charges that Dr. Doug is a phony and a fraud, uses magic and deadly poisons in his medicine, and has false credentials. They would have him arrested; but the sheriff of Terlingua is Dr. Doug's friend (and patient,) and won't execute the arrest warrant and subsequent persecution sent from New York City.

Dr. Doug counters those dastardly charges, explaining that he has practical experience with over thirty-three years of survival in the harsh deserted mountains and he cites an Honorary Doctor's Degree from the University of Terlingua, School of Minds & Hard Knocks.

As for the magic and poisons, Dr. Doug reminds us that sufficiently advanced technology can appear to be magical, and horrible liver eating poisons like acetaminophen are even this second being dispensed by members of the AMA for profit.

There are no representatives of the AMA in South Brewster County because it is such hard country. There are no Italian Operas, no Broadway Musicals, and no money in Terlingua, so no AMA accredited, certified and accepted practitioners will live there.

The well meaning Doctor saw the vacuum of professional responsibility in Terlingua, and resolved to remedy the situation. He swore that he would not make money from others misfortune, he would dedicate his life to finding the secret to happiness and exposing that knowledge to others, and he would find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow if it took his whole life in it's pursuit.

In the beginning, he was also confused by the omnipresent AMA propaganda regarding his favorite medicine. The Hags Against Mothers of Drunk Drivers were encouraging legislation controlling the imbibing of happiness medicine. The State was even setting up NAZI style road blocks to entrap medical imbibement experimenters like Dr. Doug. It was his cross to bear. He continued relentlessly with his medical and psychological experiments, exuding Edison like zeal and perseverance.

There were times when his experiments went drastically wrong, or even ended up in a ditch. Other times the Doctor stumbled upon nuggets of happiness that sent his heart reeling. Throughout those difficult and lean years, Dr. Doug accumulated information about happiness and the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and is now ready to share that hard won truth with all that will listen.

That's where the IRS comes in. As Dr. Doug became more famous, he appeared on the Infernal Revenue Service radar screen. Some say the AMA framed him. They just knew he was stashing a fortune in Swiss Banks. but they could never find any evidence what-so-ever. In fact, their investigation confirmed that Dr. Doug had never made any money at all in his entire life, a fact they found puzzling and disturbing. They concluded that if everybody else found out Dr. Doug's formula of happiness, it would put Capitalism out of business.

The thought of Capitalism out of business was so horrifying that immediate and total isolation of Terlingua was ordered. IRS hit teams scoured the area for Dr. Doug, attempting to eliminate the source of the Happiness Pandemic.

They could not find him because he had become a hero to the local population, and they all, even some of the women, started growing beards and looking like Dr. Doug, thus hiding him in plain sight.

It is like that to this day, beards have become a symbol of resistance to unhappiness, and Dr. Doug slips in and out of the generally bearded population like a chameleon, one step ahead of the Infernal Revenue Service and the August Medical Association.

Dr. Doug remains practical. Too much of anything can kill you, even a necessity such as water. Controlled doses of Dr. Doug's medicine have been known to create a sense of well being, a rosy glow, a gaiety of gait, happiness and song. The old wise Doctor acknowledges that an overdose of medicine can cause a "hangover", but advises that same medicine can be "hair of the dog that bit you" to cure the hangover.

All things in moderation is the Doctors creed, substantiated by years of medical experimentation probing the borders and limitations of happiness medication.

Oh! If you do find the Doctor in Terlingua, don't squeal on him to the IRS or the AMA, or else!

Photographs by Terry Anderson

Live free, don't worry, be very, very happy, and take your medicine if it helps.

While searching for the pot of gold in the desert between Marfa and Alpine, Dr. Doug discovered the shocking truth about UFOs. He followed the Marfa Lights to a hidden valley at the end of the rainbow, and saw a hugh saucer shaped caldron overflowing with nuggets of gold. As he approached he noticed small green odd shapes scurrying about, grabbing the fallen nuggets and quickly disappearing with them. Before he could take another step, the creatures had made off with all the gold in the flying saucer.

It turns out that "the little green men from Outer Space" are Leprechauns not limited to the Emerald Isle. Impish creatures they are, and ever since Dr. Doug stumbled (literally) upon the truth of their existence, they have plagued him with silliness.

Stupid stuff happens, this the doctor knows, but these guys stack the deck. They are not always present, and when they are, they are difficult to discern due to their green camouflage.

They set up tripping traps and shine lights in the night. They move objects and make strange noises at the spookiest of times. Particularly vexing to the doctor is their propensity to move the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and his reading glasses. He has even taken to tying his glasses to himself to avoid losing them to the Leprechauns.

The doctor recalls when they drove him close to anger by moving the pot of gold just as he came upon it. Just a glimpse of all that gold, then it was gone. It makes Dr. Doug mad when he gets angry, and the Leprechauns know it. They delight in the madness of other creatures, but they single out Dr. Doug because he knows their game.

Dr. Doug admits to being overly and exuberantly happy, but he'd be a lot happier if the little green jerks would quit being so silly, and quit stealing the pot of gold just as he finds it.

This page was last updated: January 5, 2010

News Flash!

Dr. Doug responsible for the fall of Capitalism!

We found and interviewed the elusive Dr. Doug and to this reporter's astonishment, the doctor confessed responsibility for the most recent fall of Capitalism.

Dr. Doug said he was very, very sorry for any inconvenience caused by the Stock Market Crash and subsequent Worldwide Economic Depression, but he was only trying to make people happy! He had no idea all of the people would actually quit worrying, quit working and follow his advice to become free and happy.

The last thing he said before retreating to his hidden lair was; "You may now grant yourself a prolonged moment of happiness and peace, courtesy of Dr. Doug."

Blair Pittman of Study Butte wrote a book about the big bend and has another version of the Legend of Dr. Doug, let's hear his side of the story:

DR. DOUG OF STUDY BUTTE

No, my friend Doug Blackman really isn’t a doctor. He earned the title out of respect for his humor, personality and originality. Doug worked at the Study Butte store as a stockman, maintenance man, and general helper for the last twenty years.

The store is known as the shopping mall in our remote area, selling gasoline, propane, groceries and some hardware items. There is even a liquor store. You can see that this is a pretty important mecca for local residents and tourists. Before the liquor store opened the porch in front of the store was a gathering place for hard-core locals. Drinking can’t happen on the porch now because of the state liquor laws.

Folks still leave unwanted items like clothing, old computers, jig saw puzzles, even movies, books & magazines. Anything that other locals might find some use for. It’s kind of like a goodwill drop-off place but everything left there is free. If you want it, take it. First come, first served. The ladies of Study Butte and Terlingua have even had a fashion show for charity with clothes found on the porch. Raised some serious money for a good cause

Some twenty something years ago surgical greens, complete with cap, shirt, pants, even surgical slippers, with mask and a stethoscope appeared. Since Doug worked at the store, he was the first to make a claim. What did he do? He got all dressed up in them, with the stethoscope hanging from his neck. He showed off his new attire to the group of local porch sitters, to the sound of much encouraging applause and laughter.

About that time, a tourist pulled in for gasoline. As the driver got out to self-service his car, Doug approached in his Doctor outfit, “If you will start the engine, I’ll check it,” as he placed the listening end of the stethoscope on the silent hood.

The tourist wore an alarmed expression on his face, got back in his car, started the engine, and drove away. Doug stood there, holding his stethoscope in readiness, waving bye-bye as the car pulled onto the highway, and sped away.

The sitters on the porch roared with approving laughter. Shirley and Ron Willard, the owners of the store didn’t think it was so funny to see a paying customer drive away. As punishment they took away the chairs and tables on the porch. The entire crew had to sit on the floor leaning against the wall. Doug was cautioned not to do that again. So much for the doctor outfit. It was burned with the trash.

After that Doug became known affectionately as “Doctor Doug”. I don’t know if he is a medical doctor or a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist might not be a bad idea but we are pretty happy in the desert.

We do live near the Mexican border, so we can call Dr. Doug a “Border line” Doctor. Sometimes the Doctor is in – Sometimes the Dr. is out – WAY OUT…

Mr. Obama, tear down that wall!

http://www.FronterasUnlimited.org

Fronteras Unlimited is a non-profit, community motivated organization devoted to reclaiming the border communities of the Big Bend for their residents. Fronteras is endeavoring to stabilize the border area of the Big Bend using free trade commerce, education, and the cooperation that has traditionally made the Big Bend the uniquely peaceful border it has been in the past.

The border closures of 2002 have devastated the economies of our Mexican neighbors. In an effort to put an end to the desperation of these remote desert communities, Fronteras is helping them to create a stable, independent, legal and cooperative economy of their own, helping them to make their lives in the Chihuahuan desert sustainable, and endeavoring to save them from the poverty of much of their nation. In doing so, Fronteras hopes also to prevent an increase in lawlessness along our border and to preserve the cooperation between our neighbors and ourselves, which has created a traditionally safe and trustful border for nearly five generations.

The mission of Fronteras is three-fold:

1. To preserve the mutual trust and cooperation which has been a hallmark of the Big Bend for over a hundred years;

2. To alleviate the desperation and poverty of our once-prosperous neighbors by helping them to create their own sustainable economy;

3. To provide an example of innovative, peaceful cooperation and prosperity to other areas of the border that so desperately need it.

Fronteras firmly believes that putting up a fence, imaginary or otherwise, between peoples creates poverty, chaos, fear, and violence. In consciously choosing to love our neighbors rather than fear them, we will demonstrate the power of communities to transcend social deterioration and preserve the way of life that is dear to our community as a whole. Our Projects >>

Journal Entry - November 2007

Thank you so much for your interest in Boquillas del Carmen, Coahuila, Mexico and Fronteras Unlimited. We have gone from 3 quilters to 28 fabric workers making finished quilts, embroidering tea towels, crocheting tablecloths, etc. and have generated a goodly amount of hope, confidence and motivation where before there was none. At present, the women of Boquillas are working to free themselves from their dependence on us for supplies, materials and markets. We will continue to have quilt shows every year to keep the ladies supported, however, and will have them in various locations; next year we hope to have one in Marfa around the first week of October and we have a date set for November 17<sup>th at St. Stephen’s School in Houston. While the ladies develop their own textile co-op, with guidance, we hope to concentrate more on education. We are hoping to collect 8 used laptops (Windows 98 or better); 4 for the elementary school in Boquillas and 4 for the secondary school in Las Norias (we have a satellite dish that may be able to work at the secondary school) – we have installed sufficient solar panels for this equipment already. We then hope to use whatever proceeds from scorpion and stick sales (as well as donations) to start sending the most promising Boquillas teens on to “preppa” (2 year preparatory high school) and then on to college – both in Melchor Muzquiz, 4 hours away from Boquillas.

You can help by:

Finding us 8 workable used laptops (windows 98 or better)

4 workable printers with generic ink cartridges

Buy a Boquillas quilt at 432-371-3127. We also sell quilt tops, embroidered tea towels, T-shirts, crocheted tablecloths and wall hangings. If we don’t answer the phone please leave a message and someone will call you back promptly. We now take credit cards.

Commit to sending a child on to college. These youngsters have never had the privilege of choice and you could help them have the greatest choice of all.

More Journal Entries >>>>

The Great Divider - Is the border the wedge issue of our time…or just a line in the sand? PLUS: How you can make a difference

Gentleman's Quarterly Magazine - January Issue

By George Saunders

Once upon a time, there was a wealthy country. Just to the south was a poor country. Between them ran a border. People from the poor country were always sneaking over, trying to partake of the wealth of the wealthy country. The people in the wealthy country resented this. Or some did. Some seemed fine with it, and even helped them once they got here. Some said it was a crisis and a big wall was needed. Others said: What crisis, it's been going on for years, plus they work so cheap, you want to pay nine bucks for a freaking quart of strawberries? The national media seized on the story and, as always, screwed it up: reduced it to pithy sound bites, politicized it, and injected it with faux urgency, until, lo, the nation was confused.